Is There Such Thing As Soft Punk?

It has recently come to my attention, through the utmost of scientific data (Facebook), that Punk Rock and all things associated, are back in fashion.

Marc Jacobs' new spring collection features models strutting their studded, collared stuff on the runway. 

When coming up with my spring collection, I listened to The Replacements "Kids Don't Follow" on repeat. Every now and then, I sprinkled some Dead Kennedys and the Circle Jerks. I fell back in love with the Dead Milkmen and Operation Ivy.

So: What's up Marc Jacobs? Why are you copying me?

I remember mosh pits and violent elbow flings. You probably got elbowed on your way to boarding school.

Okay, really, I was not that cool. I thought I was special, shitty attitude and all. All of my friends followed the same formula. 

The beauty of Facebook has recently reunited me with my old friends from high school. When I see their profile pictures, smiling and looking like normal, functioning members of society, I feel confused.

I expect them to still have shaved heads and bad attitudes. I expect to talk about "posers" and how Green Day's "Kerplunk" ruined punk music altogether in one fell swoop.

Instead, we talk about our kids. We talk about baking and work. We have waved bye bye to Punk Rock. We are now, at best, Soft Rock.

I miss those days. 

One of my best friends in high school loved to call me Ralphonzo. This was her thing. I talked to her the other day, after many years without knowledge of her whereabouts.

She called me Carla.

My memories of high school are parked in high school. I, however, am parked in the harsh reality of my 30s.