Understanding Sen~or Citizens

For the last three or four days, every time I bend over, I get this loving, gentle flow of excruciating pain that radiates from my hip to my toes. Good morning sciatic nerve. Did I offend you last night? I must've sat on you.
I think it is time to pull out the ole check list.

Recurring Ailments. Check

Grouchy All of the Time at Younger People. Check.

Enjoyment of All Things Crochet. Check.

Constant Anger at "Reckless Drivers". Check.

I think it is official.

I AM GETTING OLD.

I was watching senior citizens the other day and decided that maybe there is something to look forward to in my golden years. They seem to be happy, with their dinners at 4 p.m., power walking through the mini malls, and driving vehicles that resemble cop cars. Maybe there is some secret disco, like in the movie Cocoon, where everyone dances salsa and power slams umbrella drinks? Maybe that is a Tuesday night event....I mean, why wait till the weekend when every day is Partae Time!

I think the scariest thing to face is the whole physical aspect of aging. Really, who wants to be a young person trapped in an old person's body? I'm sure that a lot of them feel that way...

Case in point, my dad.
Now, he is not old as balls yet...but he's getting there. I always envision my dad as the young, handsome, long-haired hippie that everyone loves. He still acts like that young, handsome hippie that everyone loves, with one exception: he is starting to shrink. Either that or I am getting taller and guess what? I AM NOT TURNING INTO CINDY CRAWFORD.
You do the math.
Here is my dad with my mom on their wedding day:

In case you hurt your head recently, I am referring to the person on the right.

Studdly, right?

Even though he no longer sports the chops or weighs 120, he still has a strong pimp hand. One of my girlfriends insists that he is a stone fox. Ewww.

Yes, he is 61 and goes to sleep at 8:30, but the man can still make a mean Beefeater Gin and Tonic. He also loves seeing live bands at the 9:30 Club, traveling to other countries on a whim, laughing at just about anything remotely funny, screaming at sporting events, dancing at every family party and finally, farting on command. That makes him kind of like a sensei.

So, if getting old is going to be more like my dad, Sen~or's example, I'm on board with it.

So here's to you, Dad, and some other senior idols of mine:

I think I just roundhouse kicked through a wall just then. Golden Girls. So legitimate.

Oh and please don't say anything bad about the Golden Girls. I don't want you to end up burning in the hell fire of eternal damnation. It can happen. Think about it.

Shake a shake rattle dem old bones