I'd Rather Have A Coke And A Smile

Sometimes I wonder if it is altogether a bad idea that I have children. Generally speaking, I don't think I like kids very much. Is this bad?

There are very few that I actually go crazy over...my kids are aighhhht and so is my nephew the Choobs. 

Usually I find them boring and needy. I would so much rather kick back with a cocktail and practice my yogic breathing than spend a night trying to figure out Blue's Clues. I believe that you have to have the mind of, let's say, a Jedi warrior to keep them from seeping into your brain and driving you to insanity.

Are most moms on Percodan? I think I wouldn't mind speaking jibber jabber all day if I were on psychotropics. 

So, Happy Mothers Day Motherfuckers. Go give your mom a big hug and kiss for putting up with you when you took a dump in your pants or that time that you pulled your brother's tooth out with a pair of suspenders and a vacuum cleaner (sorry also to Carlos).