Porntoons

There is something that has been plaguing me for some time now: cartoon smut. I was watching a seemingly innocent cartoon with my two year old daughter, Captain No, and sho nuf the smut ensues.

"Would you like a big banana, wiener dog?" the octopus says to the wiener dog. "I love big bananas!!!" says the wiener dog. "Hey, now I have a big banana too Octopus! We love big bananas!!!" 

Ok, now substitute banana with penis. 

Then there is that classic Dora the Explorer episode where Boots the Monkey loses his squeaky toy. I like to call this one "the Masturbation Episode."

"I love to squeeze my Squeaky, Squeaky, Squeaky. I squeeze him up high! Squeaky Squeaky Squeaky. I squeeze him down low. Squeaky, Squeaky, Squeaky! I squeeze him real slow. Squeaky, Squeaky, Squeaky. I squeeze him fast too! Squeaky, Squeaky, Squeaky. Squeaky, I love you." 

On a sidebar, if you ever want to get out of sex, sing this one to your mate and watch the sparks fizzle!

Do you want to know where they find Squeaky? Squeaky was in the Gooey Geyser. Kerrsploooze!

Then there's this guy who is giving me dirty thoughts:Yo Gabba Gabba - Cool Tricks (Adam)

Why have I started to think this man is wildly attractive?

This is the reason why Captain No and I are scaling down our television time to half an hour of PBS a day...but then again, I still think there is sexual tension between Clifford and Emily Elizabeth.